I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you win again, gameday.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
