as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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