I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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