shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
