People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize