i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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