Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
