FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
