dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
