Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
vagina is talking i cant
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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