Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
