it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
