Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
