Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
