Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
