you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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