Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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