i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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