He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
