At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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