I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
