STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
