Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
