I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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