some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
