i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
