yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
