my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
