the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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