Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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