dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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