some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
