I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize