Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
