I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
