If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
