So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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