So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
