the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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