I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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