I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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