Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I AM VODKA MAN
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
