Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
