Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
