She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize