So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize