how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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