So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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