sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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