I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
