The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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