I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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