are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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