And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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