I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
