Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
