you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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