She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
