the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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