we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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