Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
