Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
