Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You can't motorboat a personality
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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