this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just high enough for therapy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
